MACLEAN, VA – It was discovered today that Newt Gingrich literally constructed his own moral universe, mostly built out of mirrors, birch bark, and headshots. “It’s amazing,” confirmed one reporter, verifying the find. “When you walk inside, it’s impossible to be wrong. No matter where you stand, you always have the moral high ground. I… [Read more…]
January 17, 2012
(recorded earlier) 6:10 Hi everybody, thanks for joining me today as I live blog a sunrise. A lot could happen here, so I’m pretty excited. I’ve got my camera, some beef jerky, and a phone in case I need to call somebody. Just wanted to set the scene for you. 6:12 Well I guess while… [Read more…]
January 10, 2012
Let’s say you’re standing in front of a piece of meat. Let’s just say it, we don’t have rush into any kind of action. It could be chicken, or the heart of America, but let’s say it’s chicken just for simplicity. How are you going to cook that thing there, that thing, sitting there, on… [Read more…]
January 7, 2012
Normally I get a room at the Sheraton when reviewing the annual gingerbread village. I like to book a week at the hotel and spend an entire day observing one single gingerbread house, carefully noting every ingredient, every architectural motif, and every security guard who tries to prevent me from eating the entire village. But… [Read more…]
December 31, 2011
I don’t know about you, but the New Year’s resolution I make most often while watching the fireworks is that I need to watch more fireworks. They are so absorbing that I completely ignore whoever I’m standing with, and if someone even dares to talk to me, I simply mutter, “Please, shut up.” But as… [Read more…]
December 30, 2011
There’s an elephant in room. No one wants to talk about it, but there it is, eating the flowers. Where did the flowers go? We would know the answer if we discussed the elephant in the room. Pete knows there’s an elephant in the room. He’s petting it, saying, “There, there” and then, “there, there.”… [Read more…]
December 11, 2011
Lexington, Virginia Initially I did not intend to go to the Stonewall Jackson house, but the Robert E. Lee chapel was closed and I thought Jackson a fine second. Being a Canadian slightly apathetic about his own country’s history, I find myself knowing a great deal about the civil war, but am no enthusiast, as… [Read more…]
November 30, 2011
http://www.soundonsight.org/ten-things-you-should-see-in-a-heist-film/
November 22, 2011
The stakeout is one of the great American pastimes, one notch under baseball and two notches above “making notches.” One could argue we’re all on a stakeout right now, waiting for God or aliens or the messiah, one could make that argument, especially my friend Pete. That’s all he talks about. The first to thing… [Read more…]
November 17, 2011
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/oscars-to-be-hosted-by-a-redbox-machine/
November 8, 2011
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/how-to-ace-that-job-interview/
November 2, 2011
http://www.defenestrationmag.net/2011/11/the-initial-reports-on-classic-consumer-products-by-chason-gordon/
October 31, 2011
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/10-reasons-we-should-have-carved-watermelons-instead-of-pumpkins/ Chason Gordon copyright 2011 http://twitter.com/chasongordon http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chason-Gordon/220820461310387
October 27, 2011
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/so-you-heard-your-neighbors-having-sex/ image – John Tornow
October 25, 2011
Pistachios are an odd nut, because they’re the only nut that has cleavage. If you look at a pistachio the shell is always slightly spread open, giving you a preview of the sweet jewel inside. Whenever I open a pistachio nut, it feels like I’m pulling open a women’s blouse. Is this why pistachios are… [Read more…]
January 19, 2012
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