Writing – Selects
How to Stress-Cook Yourself Into Oblivion on Election Day – Slate
The great Grade 6 con that set off years of bad choices – The Globe and Mail
Washington schools need later start times, since they keep waking me up – MyNorthwest
I Can’t Stop Eating My Coronavirus Food Stockpile – Vice
It’s OK to Partially Bootleg a Movie When You Have to Pee – Slate
Yes, My Internet is Also Down – Weekly Humorist
Washington state does indeed have a crow hunting season – MyNorthwest
There’s a reason great artists are assholes – Spiked
Hey, Don’t Pull Yourself In Closer to Me After I Stab You with My Sword! – Robot Butt
Seattle’s New Distracted-Driving Law Ensures That You Don’t Have Fun in the Car – The Stranger
We’re Going to Need More Men – Vulture
To the Spider Clinging for Life on My Side View Mirror – Robot Butt
Moving from soccer player to referee, I gained an education in rejection – The Globe and Mail
How to Irrationally Punch a Wall – Ask Men
How to Cope When You’ve Been Catfished by Your Favorite Delivery Spot – Vice
Here’s Why A&W Tastes Better in Canada Than It Does in the US – Paste
The Moment in Adulthood When You Realize Your Parents’ Cooking Kind of Sucks – Vice
Washington schools should reopen because my neighbors’ kids are loud – MyNorthwest
Actually, We Should All Have to Watch the Same In-Flight Movie at the Same Time – Vice
Pacific Science Center: The best place in Seattle to be murdered? – Crosscut
Requiem for the last Arby’s in Seattle – Seattle Refined
Replace Your Every Human Need With Neuro Water – Extra Crispy
How to Pretend to Move to Canada If So-and-So Becomes President – Seattle Weekly
A Tribute to the Facebook Heroes Who Never Post Anything Political – Thought Catalog
Saying Goodbye to Those Lovably Pesky Parking Stickers – Seattle Refined
Pop-up ads are trying to shame you – Input
A Look at the Optometrist’s Air Puff Test – Paste Magazine
If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Tropical Butterfly House – Seattle Weekly
An Inside-Look at Trader Joe’s Notorious Canadian Knock-Off – Seattle Weekly
Reason to Go See the Grand Canyon at Night – Paste Magazine
How to Sleep in Your Car – Paste Magazine
The corn mazes of Puget Sound — a semi-factual guide – Crosscut
What’s Up with the ZymoGenetics Building? – City Arts
The Night I Inadvertently Traumatized a Neighbor with My Nakedness – Human Parts
Crackers Should Stop Trying to Be Chips – Paste Magazine
On the Phrase “No Worries” – Thought Catalog
How to Deal with an Ant Problem – Thought Catalog
Let’s Make a Gingerbread House! – Thought Catalog
Why No Ketchup Chips, America? – Literally Humor
Observing the Construction of a McDonald’s – The Big Jewel
So You Heard Your Neighbors Having Sex – Thought Catalog
Cartoons – Selects